A Christmas Caution

If you’re like most people you’ll be approaching the two thousand and eighteenth anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ with a sense of excitement and joy. And yes, Christmas is a time of the year when it’s very easy to manufacture a sense of happiness, so feel free to celebrate. By all means do the usual things. Buy a chocolate advent calendar, listen to Christmas songs, pretend to be a Christmas tree in the town centre, decorate the dog in tinsel and do the Christmas dance in the lounge with your family. All of these things are good. Give yourself a treat, you deserve it. But I’m going to explain why it’s still important to take a cautious approach to Christmas.

The well known, determined critics list the potential damages of Christmas and reference consumer capitalism, the toxicity of Abrahamic religions, fiercely annoying music, and ruthless international turkey massacre, not to mention the ethics of lying to children about the existence of flying reindeer. But if this all doesn’t put you off, and Christmas is really what you’re into, you might be considering doing what seems to be all the rage at the minute; the phenomenon of the multi-Christmas. Be miserable this year, and don’t celebrate Christmas at all. By saving it til next year, you can have yourself a nice big double Christmas the year after.

This is a great way of being kind to your future self. If you want to teach your children the crucial life lesson of suffer now, reward later, I can think of no more effective method than completely depriving them of Christmas altogether for at least 3 or 4 times during early childhood, in promise of enhanced Christmases in the future. They’re guaranteed to be extremely unhappy and resentful about it, but my God will they be thankful in adulthood, when they are morbidly obese and need to lose 10 stone in order to avoid heart disease and death, or perhaps when they are having to shop at Lidl in order to pay the rent for a musky one bedroom flat in Shepshed. But more importantly, the Christmases they do have will be the most profound and memorable Christmases of their lives.

But it’s not all jingle bells- and that’s what this is about. We all watch the news. We all know about that Christmas man who got carried away. A perfectly nice, healthy and sane man who had friends and also a job, but a man who really, really loved Christmas. And I mean, really, really got off on it. Rumour has it he locked himself away every December for ten years so he could do Christmas good and proper. It doesn’t matter how psychologically robust you are, having ten Christmases at once will be far too much for any of you to bear.

The man was never seen again.

Don’t let Christmas have it’s wicked way with you this year. Enjoy thoughts about Jesus and the Christmas smells and the Christmas food and the Christmas songs and the jingle jingle. Have a delightful break from it not being Christmas. But for God’s sake make sure you behave responsibly and have a moderate, safe and cautious Christmas this year.


Tamarite II

Things are very different here. The kids are not the same. For example, they aren’t at each other’s throats all the time. I asked one from my family yesterday if he disliked any of the other kids from Tamarite and he responded with ‘no’. When I was a kid, everyone hated each other. Everyone was falling out all the time. Who slagged who off on MSN? Bullying left right and centre. He’s shit at football, she’s fat, he’s gay. I spent a lot of energy on hating other kids, and many spent a lot of energy hating me. Hatred of the completely irrational, childish sort. Everyone in Tamarite seems to get on perfectly well.

I could guess at the reasons for this. Tamarite is a small town,nestled between two rocky hills, isolated from nearby civilisation. It is by no means tiny, I would say it was about the size of my own village, Barrow Upon Soar. Tamarite has a population of about four thousand, Barrow nearly six. I got here on the Monday, met quite a few kids on the second day playing racket sports, Uno, swimming, Pokemon hunting etc. And I found that even the next day I was bumping into the same kids, sometimes twice. Everybody knows everybody. With the frequency of seeing each other so high, people become like some kind of extended family- naturally it makes sense to have amicable relationships with your next door neighbours.

But also, I think the kids are just brought up with decent values.

The sun helps. In Tamarite there is a swimming pool, right next to the football stadium. When it gets to twelve o’clock, you flip on your slip slops, jump on your obscure brand Spanish mountain bike, you’re out of the door and the world is yours.

When you walk in there is a bar, the tables have the word San Miguel strewn across them in that classy green and red font that exudes class. Then you go through an arch made of hedge onto the lawn, and you are by the swimming pools. Take your towel to your preferred patch, lay it down next to your cerveza, and you are free to bask to your heart’s content. In the evening, the pool is surrounded by families who perpetually seem like this experience is novel to them, spellbound in summer mirth. It really is quite idyllic. People passing slices of watermelon around, reading books in the shade of the trees, playing racket sports, men, women and children alike sliding in and out of the water like otters. If Bethan happens to be by the side of the pool you can just swim underwater for that part it’s fine. What’s not to be happy about?

Back to the kids. I used to find kids really annoying, I used to question parents for their obsession with them, their dependence on having them. But I think it was the parents whom I rejected. I rejected the deluded, middle class English parent, infinitely proud of their child– their child over all others– places astronomical expectations upon them only for them to inevitably achieve nothing but a life of mediocrity and banality, a paltry echo of their parents dull lives. Here the kids are all really quite cute, happy creatures. Like Kangaroos their mothers carry these miniature versions of themselves smiling in their front pouches everywhere they go.

Considering that they speak a different language, one might expect all manner of verbal abuse to be going on in my presence. Now I can’t say I have any idea what they’re talking about when I’m there, I know they ridicule me because I wear sports socks. But that’s nothing. It’s certainly not ‘oi fuck off clean shirt’. What I love about the kids as well, is the can-do attitude. None of this ‘I’m tired’, ‘I’ve not got any money’, ‘what if a rock falls on my head?’ bollocks. The attitude is, let’s find something to do and do it.

There’s a rock in Tamarite, it looks like it’s been placed on top of a much larger rock, and sits on top of it like a hat. A steep granite lump which if you climbed, you could see everything. You could look down upon God’s creation in its entirety and smile. I was there the other day and I weighed it up and thought, I can’t climb that. I wouldn’t be able to get down. It’s too steep. My legs are too big. I’m too clumsy. I’d end up being that English bloke taking up one paragraph on the right hand side of the Metro. I asked my fourteen year old kid if people had climbed it, and he said, yes, as a matter of fact, he had climbed it once.

“One day I was there with a friend, and I say shall we climb this? And he say no we can’t climb this. I say why can’t we climb this? And then we climbed this.”

I love stories like that.

He also told me about how the other day he was at his friend’s house, who has a swimming pool full of stagnant, muddy water, which had accommodated a plethora of frogs and snakes. He was saying they were all swimming in it. I asked him why? He said ‘because it was funny’.

On Procreation

It’s absolutely great that people have children. The more the better, really. Reproducing is just a natural part of life! Children are wonderful! Children are so cute! Humans are the best creature the world has ever seen! Look at these really happy Catholic children for example!


As you can tell that was me being the voice of preposterous human-egoism. I’ve been looking at http://www.VHEMT.org (The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement). This is a website that asserts that as a species we have a moral obligation to stop breeding. The planet is our only Mother and we have no right to terrorize it and destroy everything that it has created over billions and billions of years. Most people just think, ‘God that’s extreme!’ and think people who advocate human extinction are nazis. For example, this really typical American; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm1QojjwGdo (The video is only about 3 mins and will be great to help you understand the principles of the movement, and the response of a typical thicko).


The crucial thing to acknowledge with VHEMT is that they are not advocating genocide, but dying out through not continuing to reproduce. They respect all life forms as much as anybody else, they just don’t see the value in creating new ones. They aren’t saying more death, they are saying less death. If you think that this is extreme in any way, then you are simply failing to understand it. What is extreme is the apocalypse which we are contributing to out of selfishness and a lack of knowledge.

I’d like to make it clear early on that this blog is not intended to stop people from having children, or attack them for doing so, all I intend to do is attack the ignorance that manifests itself even in seemingly intelligent human beings. My parents, academic persons of the past and future, my friends’ parents, have all produced multiple offspring and probably thought little about the consequences, or the nature of this decision. We need to be making informed decisions about stuff like this. What deeply worries me and makes me feel contempt for people is when they fail to realise that certain behaviours of theirs are a moral imperative, simply because these behaviours are commonplace. For example eating meat. I did this for 20 years, completely oblivious to the damage I was causing to the environment and the pain I was causing to other animals, and for no reasons other than greed. Are people who eat meat aware of this? No. I consider myself to be a person who thinks a lot. About a lot of things. Extensively. If I’ve only just came to this conclusion, how can we expect other people to? This is a perfect example of how our government has completely failed us, by failing to educate us about basic realities that are monumental to the development of humanity, and the entire world itself.

People who have kids seem to think that what they’re doing is really original, “OOH LOOK AT THIS VERY YOUNG CHILD THAT’S FALLEN OUT OF ME, OH LOOK HOW CUTE IT IS, OH I LOVE IT SO MUCH ISN’T THIS EXPERIENCE SO PROFOUND KEVIN?”

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No it’s not original at all Caroline you completely ordinary and disappointing human being. The other 7 billion humans around you are testament to that fact. Children aren’t even cute anyway really if you look at them realistically, they are the same as adults, only much smaller and much less intelligent.

To the whole ‘procreation is a natural urge’ argument, VHEMT provide a response;

‘Humans, like all creatures, have urges which lead to reproduction. Our biological urge is to have sex, not to make babies. Our “instinct to breed” is the same as a squirrel’s instinct to plant trees: the urge is to store food, trees are a natural result. If sex is an urge to procreate, then hunger’s an urge to defecate’

This is a very, very interesting idea I am sure you will agree, the idea that we are an accidental by-product of a peculiar and incomprehensible desire and not the intended result of it. The theory that not to produce is ‘unnatural’ is clearly the product of an embarrassing lack of knowledge on the subject.

Having a child is an act that gets completely reversed by human beings. Having a child is considered a good thing. But I want to evaluate what reasons people have for doing it.  And they are almost all egoistic ones. How does one justify sentencing another human to life and death in an age of ecological collapse, capitalism and massive overcrowdedness?

Because they want to see them self and a partner combined into one. And wouldn’t that child be darn good lookin eh?

Because they want a child to be proud of and demonstrate their success through, perhaps having failed to do this in their own life.

Because they want the company in old age. (They want to create a slave basically).

I could offer many more but these are perhaps the main perpetrators…This page by the VHEMT is fucking sick, give it a read http://vhemt.org/biobreed.htm#babies on this page they have a table that shows every single possible reason people have to reproduce and identify what it actually is.

I watched the politics debate the other day, and when they routinely move onto the whole ‘building houses’ talk it sickens me. Building more houses is to everyone the only solution to rapid population increase. We’ll keep laying concrete over everything until the Earth is wrapped in a crunchy shell of rubble and the only creatures that survive alongside us will be the rats and the pigeons. Which we will eventually end up eating once we have killed and eaten everything else, and then aliens that discover us in the future will laugh at us, calling us the ‘pigeon and rat eating species’. Or maybe the pigeons and rats will become smart and develop an evil plan to start fucking each other and produce a super species that will reproduce even more rapidly than us and then colonise the earth, wiping us all out? This would be amusing.

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Politicians also always talk about how jobs need to be created also, like this is a noble thing we should be doing-creating jobs. They talk about it like it’s the government’s failure that is causing unemployment. Yes it is, but not because of economic incompetence or any other bullshit things which we are also bullshit at, but because of the government’s failure to educate us about the dangers we are faced with globally in terms of resources, and land size. Lack of jobs are again an inevitable consequence of our attitude towards breeding which like our attitudes to most things which have a direct influence on the world, is born out of ignorance and selfishness. It flummoxes me how the immediate response to over population is to make more jobs. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so tragic.

This lack of housing and employment points to a much wider problem. That people simply fail to address through a desire not to offend, not to appear extreme and ultimately, a desire not to appear a hypocrite when they go on to fulfil their own egoistic desires, or if they already have done so by having their own children. These people are protecting humans who do not exist yet, and also massively threatening humans who do not exist yet at the same time, by casting them into a ruthless world full of people, PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!!!! AARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


Like I said in my last blog, we are sliding towards a shit apocalypse. And our attitude towards procreation is one of the main causes.

This is where Russell Brand is simply a horn-billed platypus. He attacks only capitalism for the destruction of the ecosystem. Whilst capitalism is responsible, it thrives and depends solely upon the growth of population which we are politely obliging. If you care so much about the environment Russell then promote birth control and raise awareness about the destructiveness of an ever increasing population, you prick. Him saying anything of this nature is about as likely as him saying anything about the destructive nature of religious faith. Not going to happen due to desire not to lose members of flock, and lack of true ability to think realistically.

If you’ve been alive for the past forty years you will have seen the Earth’s entire population multiply by 2. But why is population increase a bad thing? Because humans depend on resources. Think about how much plastic you consume in a week. The amount of water it takes to feed cattle that you eat unnecessarily. Electricity. Water. Paper. Oil. Every human being makes a massive difference to the destruction of the ecosystem throughout their lifetime. I don’t think the extent of this damage is understood by anyone, even myself. The Earth’s resources are finite, our reproductive patterns are behaving as if they are infinite.


The question we need to ask is, WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHY are we continuing to reproduce despite all of these cold hard facts about the hideousness of the future? I guarantee no body in this Universe will be able to provide a valid answer. In fact I challenge you to do so.

If you are interested in this, check out this really great foreign guy talking his wife who is also great and foreign; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXrU2GzY-Do

I remember when I was very young my sister told me she didn’t want a kid and I went mad ranting at her that this was unacceptable. Now I’m 21 and she is 27 our positions have reversed. I want to have a child myself. But whether I’ll choose this in favour of a clear conscience is yet to be determined…