So last night was one of those chase dreams. I enjoy them. But you get sweaty in them and you know you’re not going to get away because that’s not the point.

So I was on a holiday resort with two of my friends, one of them is a big strong army man and the other one has featured in previous dreams…

I encountered them both messing around by an extremely tall, extremely bendy pineapple tree and they would both climb to the top of it and swing on it and stuff, and whoever was at the top would wear a red paper crown for some reason. At first I didn’t want to climb the tree because it was so tall but then my big strong army friend with the massive ceps was like you can climb it and helped me. I stayed at the top for a while and asked to get a photo wearing my crown and wanted to make it my profile picture on facebook.

Then we were all tired of climbing so we decided to go get something to eat. Another one of my horrible friends appeared at this point. They saw a flier for a restaurant and were avery adamant about eating there. I was very distressed because I knew that the restaurant was run by a bunch of pirates and freaks and rapists and I kept saying to my friends we can’t go there, can’t you see they’re a bunch of pirates and mutants and they want to do bad things to you all?

No, they said.

Can’t we go to…? I asked.

No, they said.

Well I’m not coming I told them. They wouldn’t listen to me. I was stood at a bar with them while we were choosing a restaurant and I asked the lady in front of us, are the people who run this restaurant genuine or are they pirate rapist mutants? and she didn’t answer. She even summoned her colleague and asked her the question and she didn’t answer. My friends weren’t convinced and saw that the rapists were selling various types of seafood and continued their interest.

And then I watched them get all aboard the boat and I a big fat ugly dirty mutant man said, “you not coming?”

No, I said.

So then the rest of the dream the mutants gang decided to chase me all across the city. For this I developed extremely good parkour abilities. I couldn’t seem to escape from them it was like I had five stars on gta (can one escape with five stars on gta?).

So then everything was made of tight rope like those pyramid things you climb on. Some athletic teenagers climbed on it trying to catch me but I had to murder them by pushing them off so they wouldn’t catch me. I did a lot of underwater swimming as well to not get detected but they always knew where I was.

I didn’t get my dinner in the end.