Caution: Do not write a boring or sentimental poem.
Caution: Do not use a word processor unless your fountain pen has broken.
Caution: Do not write on papyrus or about papyrus.
Caution: Do not applaud bad poets because they tried.
Caution: Do not read your poem in a voice like you are slowly dying.
Caution: Do not turn up to a spoken word night, read your own mindlessly
self-indulgent verse with unsolicited pride then leave without realising
how much of a cunt you are.
Caution: Do not write a poem without including death at least twice.
Caution: Do not read poems about sexuality or gender politics unless you
are convinced you are performing to a group of open-minded fascists.
Caution: Do not address your poem to the sky.
Caution: Do not address a poem to you unless you want to address me personally.
Caution: Free verse is a bit shit really.
Caution: Do not pretend you ever understand poetry.
Caution: Do not write poetry.
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