You can tell from the photo at the end of the last entry that Rattus comes from the side of the kitchen unit. It was a stroke of fortune that the camera was pointing directly at the rat as it slid out, revealing its abode. I showed my friend Shay the pictures of Rattus and he called me immediately. He asked me what I was going to do about it, and I said ‘get it sorted eventually’. I told him I didn’t want to call pest control because it wasn’t my style.

“Oh James that is SO you!” he said, “you’re EXACTLY the kind of person who could live with a rat and not be bothered about it!” Well maybe I am. “I’d be terrified!”

We went on to list a few substances that rats don’t like, like lemon, vinegar and peppermint, which after glancing research, is rat kryptonite.

I’ve reflected on Rattus, and have found a few things. First of all, he has done well to get here. Maybe he crawled all the way through some complex , inhospitable piping system, or cunningly waited for the opportune moment to slip by undetected while both the front, and the flat door were open, or perhaps my favourite; scaled three storeys of brickwork and leapt heorically through the window. Second of all, he’s got needs as all animals do, he needs to eat, but he hasn’t made a mess of the place, dead hedgehogs aside. He also only comes out at night time when I am lying asleep in the next room. He wants to keep himself to himself, he’s just trying to get by in life, just like the rest of us.

My atittude towards Rattus is contained within the following letter-

Dear Rattus,

Fair play– I’m in no frantic rush to exterminate you, as many would be, contacting trained killers to get them to come into our home. However sadly I don’t think it’s going to work out us cohabiting, because I don’t want to get the Black Death from your urine. Nor do I fancy fleas, I’ve had it before where you walk into a room and in a matter of moments you’ve got twenty of them on your leg, and it’s like hell.

I’m sure you’re a perfectly likeable young rat, but among other things, I’m worried the prospect of a Mrs Rattus showing up and before you know it I’m colonised in my own flat, sleeping on the sofa and not watching what I want to watch on the TV anymore, all the while suffering from some debilitating disease that makes my skin turn yellow.

I’m going to try to find you a new place to live, some shithole like the Meadows you’re going to absolutely love.

Sincerely,

James

The plan of action is now to thoroughly vinegarise the flat, particularly the surfaces as this is where the rat can get me, as this is where the things that go in my mouth come from. If this area is kept clean and rat free, I’m safe from disease.

I also vinegarised the entrance to its home by the side cupboard, and left the low window open so he’s free to go of his own accord at any time. Failing this, I bought two humane rat traps, even though I only needed one , two was the minimum, and they cost £30. This will lure the rat and then capture it in a cage, unharmed. I considered it an investment in Rattus, if Operation Jerusalem is to be a success his journey will not end here, his role in the world is not finished yet.